Saturday 8 March 2014

Day 180: Tops - with a momentary wobble

I had one of those days of enjoying being alive. It started with a beautiful walk along the beach to meet the girls for brekkie. I watched all the Bold and Beautiful swimmers coming out of the water and all the people running and was very pleased to be part of this world again.

The 7.30a viewof the Manly beachfront from the top of the stairs behind the surf lifesaving club.


After brekkie with Rach, Jen and Sue, I went  to swim club and watched my kids swim a few freestyle races plus the 100IM. Remie did the whole thing and I was very proud of her and happy to be able to be there. I had a fabulous rest after lunch while Nick and the kids went for a bike ride. I even squeezed in a swim at Little Manly with Jen and her kids. Nick and I had a great dinner out with Steph and Mark. The catch up was long overdue and I even happily stayed up until 11p.

My wobbly moment came during my morning walk. It was honestly the first time in nearly 6 months that a dark thought passed across my normally sunny outlook. I was passing by the volleyball courts, watching all the fabulously fit young people do their thing, and wondered what happens if I have to say goodbye to all of this soon. What if cancer is how my life ends? And what if I'm one of those people who die young?  Before I went down into that mental abyss, I turned up my music, found some walkers and runners to focus on and stayed in the beautiful present. While my fears may indeed eventuate, it'll do me no good to worry about that now.

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