Friday 31 January 2014

Day 144: Manic but wobbly

I can totally understand how people get addicted to speed (though the sensation of being like a wound-up toy sure is strange). My office is the cleanest it's ever been since we moved in 8 1/2 years ago! After walking the kids to school and having a coffee with Nick, I spent the day at home ticking off all sorts of things on my list of TTD. I tried to rest, but with the concrete drilling going on in the apartment building out back and my buzzing head, I opted for productivity. A dunk in Steph's pool cooled me down enough to sort of handle Remie's back-to-school dinner/bed meltdown.

That not-right-in-my-skin feeling is definitely still there. It's just bizarre that I want to slow down but can't.

The side effects are the same as yesterday, at about the same intensity. I think the exhaustion is getting to me now, so I'll turn out the lights without taking a sleeping pill and see how that works.

It didn't work quite so well. Shortly after turning out the light i experienced the "bone and muscle pain" that had been mentioned. Luckily it didn't start too bad, feeling more like the "growing pains" of youth. I tossed and turned and finally managed about 4 hours of uninterrupted sleep. I'm looking forward to some real sleep next week.

Thursday 30 January 2014

Day 143: The start of the downward slide

I am holding on to the image of the cells in white hunting down the rogues and decimating them. Pity there's a bit of collateral damage in the way of hair, gut, nails, etc., but that's the way it is now.

All in all the day was fine. It started with a bit of yoga, then brekkie and walking the kids to school. I came home for a rest, had a lovely Skype call with Claus and Thyrsa in Seattle, rested more, visited with Nadia and talked to Sandy and Mig. Steph brought dinner then Emma and I took the kids to swimming lessons, where I did my requisite 'chemo week' 300m with fins. I've eaten ok and drank lots of fluids.

I started to go downhill when we got home. It seems to be a slow onset with a sore gut/tummy, tingling lips and tongue and vague head. I definitely don't feel quite right in my skin, and the intermittent hot flashes aren't helping, though it all could be exacerbated by this week's heat. I'm going to pop another sleeping pill shortly (might let the sun go down first) in the hopes of sleeping off the worst of it (or maybe just the start of it). Go the guys in white!

Wednesday 29 January 2014

Day 142: Buzzing

This Dex high is unbelievable. I was wide awake from about midnight to 4a then up at 6.30a. I've spent the day in motion, from taking the kids to their first day back to school and walking along the beach to catching up on paperwork and sorting medical bills and finally having a quick swim down the street at Little Manly before dinner. I obviously failed miserably at a midday rest. I fear tomorrow's reduction to one Dex tablet per day from the 4 I've been having is going to mean a big fall. Time will tell.

Strangely I feel ok at the moment and distinctly less toxic at this point than I did for the first three treatments. I've eaten meals and had lots of fluids to flush out my system. I'll head to bed shortly and take a sleeping pill to ensure my body gets some rest.


Tuesday 28 January 2014

Day 141: Round 4. New drug. Two-thirds of the way.

After all my worries about my Dex high, I had a pretty good night's sleep. I was up by 5.30 with the first light and fit in a bit of yoga before Remie came in at 6.15a for a sleepy cuddle. I hopped in the shower and got sorted for a 7.30a departure.

Jenny and I passed the nearly hour long drive (of about 8kms!) covering all sorts of topics. We arrived for my 8.40a appointment with Dr. Fran to find Nick waiting outside her office.

Dr. Fran called us in and introduced us to her intern. We talked about how cancer cells don't grow back after chemo as normal cells do since they lose their ability to repair. She was non-committal onspecific  nutrition suggestion, saying that maintaining a balanced diet and healthy weight, as well as limiting alcohol to 3-7 drinks per week (!) was the ideal. We then moved to talking about the Taxotere (dexamethazone) that I start this treatment. She said the downward slump usually starts  on day 3-4 once the Dex consumption decreases. She recommended general over-the-counter painkillers like Panadol Osteo (I still have lots of that from my pre-hip replacement days) for the bone and muscle ache that can come on. Oh joy.  She did tell her intern that I'm a poster child for treatment so far, so hopefully that continues in the back half of the game.

Over we went to chemo cottage at 9.15a to get checked in by Lorraine, seated and cold-capped by Candy. Jenny headed off to get a coffee and Ruth strode in, so she sat down and we started to chat. Then it was time for Angela to get the cannula in. This is where the problems started. After two failed attempts in two different veins (the second one in the hand-ick!), she called over the male nurse. Poor Swoops, the medical owl, had a bit of strangling while I felt the needles. He (the nurse, not Swoops) managed to get the cannula in (Ruth later said he looked like he struggled) so then the problems ended. Whew.

In went the anti-nausea is the drip, then the Taxotere in a black-sleeved bag as it's photo-sensitive and it's "harsh". Ugh. Not only was I instructed to suck ice to prevent mouth sores, I also had to put my hands into frozen mittens to freeze the cells where my my finger nails grow to prevent the drugs from attacking them. I REALLY disliked the frozen hand thing and moved up to being covered in 3 blankets. Thankfully Ruth distracted us with her great pictures from her recent climbing course in NZ. Trent popped in towards the end to tell us how he's headed to Cedar Rapids, Iowa this afternoon where the high temp is minus something F.  It made the mittens seem not so bad.

We were out about 11.45a, and as I was feeling pretty normal, Jenny and I headed to lunch at Frenchy's Cafe in the Artist Precinct in Mosman at Lorraine's suggestion. It was lovely. We then went and got our nails painted as mine need to be covered in a dark colour (I chose blue) for the photo-sensitive issue.

We were home by 3p, so I got in a quick swim down the street with the kids and Rosalie. We came home to Deanna dropping off dinner. Yummy. It's now 8p and I feel unbelievably fine. Go the Dex. I'm tired so will head to bed shortly and hope the night and morning aren't too bad.

Monday 27 January 2014

Day 140: The Dex high

I have spent the morning at the surf beach, an hour at Little Manly this afternoon, done 5 loads of washing, changed all the beds, sorted out bags, shoes, hats, uniforms and pencil cases for the start of school in 2 days, organised everything for the kids' day with Rosalie tomorrow, packed all my own things for round 4 tomorrow, read a few inspirational sayings and did a bit of yoga. Bring on the Decamethasone energy! The challenge is now whether I can sleep or not. Well, I have Stillnox (close to Ambien, my international flight travelling companion for years) to combat that. Oh, the marvels of conventional medicine. Fingers crossed they all do what they are supposed to do. 

Day 139: Supporting the conventional treatments

At the suggestion of a friend, I will shortly detail all the "complementary medicines" (vitamin and mineral supplements and Chinese herbs) that I am taking under the care of one of my guardian angels, Mel Koeman, naturopath extraordinaire. Mel supported me through my hip replacement and mastectomy, and her advice has certainly enhanced my body's healing abilities. 

On the food side of things, I try to have a veggie juice as often as possible (ideally daily).  I'm not particular good about moderating my alcohol consumption (it's all or nothing generally) and am genuinely tring to reduce processed sugar and wheat (man, is that a challenge or what?!), Though i am not very successful I will move to eating organically when I get organised. 

I'm reading a great book called "Anticancer: A new way of life" by Dr. David Servan-Schreiber (thanks, Emma Lane for the thoughtful gift ). His premise is that the increasing incidence of cancer since the 1950s is clearly tied to environmental factors such as diet. He suggests ways to boost the body's immune system. In additions to those noted above, he is a big fan of green tea, turmeric and curry, olive oil, ginger and certain fruits and vegetables. He backs up his suggestions with reasearch, and some of it is just common sense. 

The "complementary therapies" I love and have engaged in for years are massage and yoga. I also find a good bit of general exercise is good for my soul. 

I find it very useful to feel empowered to do what I can to help my body cope with my "insurance plan" of chemo and radio and stave off any rogue cells that may try to grow out f control and hijack my body's normal functioning. I figure there's not much to lose so its worth a try. 

Friday 24 January 2014

Day 137: Chemo brain

I can handle the death of my fast-growing cells, but surely my brain can't be included in that category. "Chemo brain" is like "baby brain" in that one loses the ability to be logical and rational. I have heard myself say "your dinner is warming in the fridge" and do things like go to put the milk in the cupboard with the dishes. D'oh!

I am concerned about my increasing vagueness, which gets worse the more tired I get. If I keep going as I am I'm going to need a nanny for myself! Apparently my normal intellectual abilities can return, but there's no guarantee that "chemo brain" is temporary. As with all the other parts, only time will tell.

Thursday 23 January 2014

Day 136: Wiped out

I read that I would get tired from the chemo, and I heard people talk about it. Like anything else, it doesn't really register until it happens to me. I'm bone tired. Not like that nice feeling I get from exercise (which I'm so looking forward to doing more of once the kids go back to school next week) but more the stop functioning kind.  I did have a swim today while the kids were having their lessons and all I could muster was 300m. It was better than nothing I guess.

I do seem to recall being exhausted at the end of last summer holidays, so hopefully having the kids back at school will make things easier in a way.

I climbed into bed at 8.45p after looking at the mere 4 links on the countdown chain until the start of the next black run. The thought of it is making me tired. At least we have a fairly us scheduled long weekend to rest and relax.

Wednesday 22 January 2014

Day 135: Medical detergent

Michiko, one of the Breast Care nurses, called today to check in. I told her I was doing fine, gave her a quick run down of the side effects I am suffering and updated her on the state of my hair. She told me that I'm doing better than most people she'd been talking to and encouraged me to continue with the cold cap as it has many benefits, including promoting re growth (I wish I'd asked her why). We discussed my thoughts about possibly pushing to have my right breast removed, and she suggested I think about it over the next few months and raise it with Dr. Andrew when I see him once my treatment is finished.

Finally, I expressed my trepidation about round 4 next Tuesday, saying that I fear that the new drug, docetaxel (or Taxotere by brand name), must pack a punch as I am instructed to start my anti-nausea med, Dex, 2 days before. She informed me that's due to the fact that some people have an allergic reaction to the medical detergent the drug is mixed in (it doesn't dissolve in many other liquids). Yuck.

So in preparation for Round 4, my schedule goes like this:
Saturday AM: Get blood test done to check white blood cell count (I normally do this the Monday before but it's the Australia Day public holiday this coming Monday)
Sunday: Take 2 Dex tablets with brekkie and 2 with lunch, plus stop all naturopathic substances
Monday: Dex with brekkie and lunch again
Tuesday: Meet with Dr. Fran at 8.45a, then over to chemo cottage

Somewhere in there I'll have a drink to celebrate the First Fleet's arrival and thank my lucky stars I have awesome support and am in a country with government-funded health care.

Tuesday 21 January 2014

Day 134: Cumulative

When I woke up this morning I had a "leave pass" from Nick to go to the gym. For the first time yet, I honestly didn't have the energy or desire to go. So sad. Instead I read a book with Remie and appreciated being with her. It makes me think that this slowing down has its upside despite how much I dislike not being able to go-go-go. I am definitely more tired, though how much of that is a result of the past 5 weeks of school summer holidays is not clear. It's not worth worrying about as it will all change in more ways than one in a week,with the first round of the new drug on Tuesday and the kids back at school on Wednesday.

Most of my fingernails split and peeled in the past week. I suppose that's the  build up of the drugs. It's not a big deal but interesting to note.

I had an appointment yesterday with an ophthalmologist for my runny eyes. It seems that even my tears are affected by the chemo and they are a bit "oily" (tears are fast growing cells). The plan is to try to stay away from contacts when my eyes bother me (I picked up new glasses and prescription sunnies yesterday) and/or use some prescription lubrication drops. If that doesn't work, I have some steroid drops to help open the tear ducts but absolutely can't wear contacts for 2 weeks when using them. I think I will very much miss the simplicity of healthy eyes.

Finally, I've hit the point where I feel more comfortable going out with a hat or scarf headband (or even my sunnies on my head) to cover up my "thinning patches".  I even ordered a few "Alice bands", which is somewhat entertaining so I'm getting all the head overs in place as I go into the chemo game's second half and the possible hair loss that will bring.

I'll appreciate where I am with it all at the moment. It's funny how one's perspective can adjust over time.

Saturday 18 January 2014

Day 131: The way it is (or "the new normal")

We had a wonderful lunch/afternoon with good friends Tony and Camille (my former Yahoo boss and  his wife), whom we hadn't seen in way too long. We hung out at their lovely beach house catching up and having a few drinks while the kids played. It was a thoroughly enjoyable and relaxing way to spend a Saturday.

As we talked about life's pursuits, kids and random events, my story unfolded. As good friends with histories, we agreed that it would be unlike me to fall apart in a heap in light of this challenge.  With reference to one of Tony's friends, he summed it up as my "new normal".

Along those lines, the other day I started thinking that the things in life that are supposed to belong to "other people" (divorce, joint replacement, cancer) are actually part of my life story. It made me realise that none of us are immune to big challenges, be they illness, financial strife, relationship drama or children's developmental issues. I found it funny that I've been surprised each time I've encountered one. I'm thinking I should start thinking that these challenges are just part of life and they present opportunities to expand my perspective. With that said, I'm happy to deal with just this at the moment.

Wednesday 15 January 2014

Day 128: Eyelashes (and general hair loss)

In the past few days I've lost a few eyelashes.  This isn't like the normal loss one experiences normally; these have all come from my bottom eyelids on the outside. I bet no one I know would notice it yet, but there does seem to be a little gap.

On the subject of hair loss, the hair on my head is very thin and brittle. There are not yet bald spots; if they appear I'm thinking I'll shave. It's also an awful mix of colours since treating it might cause it to fall out. I don't have to shave my legs at all, but still have a bit of fuzz on my arms. My underarm hair is nearly gone as well. And yes, my pubic hair is nearly gone as well.

Some of this is quite good for summer. I have taken to wearing hats to cover up and prevent and sunburn. It'll be interesting to see how it unfolds in the next 9 weeks.

Tuesday 14 January 2014

Day 127: 8 more weeks (56 days)

I have been looking at my chemo treatment as something to endure or survive. Each time I get treatment I look at the bags on the IV post and think that they contain cytotoxic drugs that will indiscriminately attack and kill the fast growing cells in my body, both bad and good.  My visualisation that helps get me through "the aftermath" is focused on this sort of "attack on the rogue cancer at helps get me through "the aftermath" is focused on this sort of "attack on the rogue cancer cells".

I recently worked out that in 8 weeks, the lovely nurse, Angela, will administer my last chemo IV (barring any unforeseen circumstances). That is a mentally manageable timeframe.

I've been reading a few books on alternative approaches to either replace or complement conventional treatment. They focus on mobilising the body's natural immune system to fight the cancer cells that are present in our bodies. Makes perfect sense, right? Seems better that enduring toxic drugs again. It's all quite fascinating and will definitely be something I adopt to a degree that works in my and my family's lifestyle. More on what it is as I read through it.

Monday 13 January 2014

Day 126: Quiet

I was awake before 6a (bloody singing birds) and felt good, so I convinced Sandy to go to the gym with me. It was good to be in an environment of movement.

Sandy and Alex headed off for their day together shortly after we got home. After dropping off Remie to tennis camp for the day, I came home to a quiet house. I did all sorts of admin tasks and house chores peacefully (besides the concrete drilling from the apt building out back, the law mowers and leaf blowers). I had a few hours of finishing thoughts and not talking, which seems to be rare in school holidays and with this disease.

Sandy, the kids and I had a lovely hour and a half at the beach after we picked up Remie at 3p. Surf conditions were the most benign I've seen in memory,  we brought Remie's surfboard and she managed to stand up a few times.  She was very excited!

I'm happy to be able to be part of the summer adventures, but I am definitely tired and don't have the energy of last summer. My tummy was a bit unsettled and my tongue still fuzzy, but  I'm counting my blessings that I'm not stuck in bed. I just have to be careful this week as my white blood cell count is at its lowest in the cycle.

Sunday 12 January 2014

Day 125: Almost back to "normal"

I woke up Saturday feeling great. It was a stunning day and very exciting! Sandy and I met Rach, Jen and Sue for our first swim all together this year and this season. We had brekkie after at our favourite cafe before Sandy and I headed home.

We all helped pack and headed down on foot and scooter to Fairy Bower (the beach that only exists at low tide) for a midday with Jen and Owen and their kids of snorkelling, stand up paddle boarding, swimming and picnicking. The sun was shining, the tide was right and the swell was non-existent: it was magic. We were having such a great time that we decided to find sitters and head out child-free for dinner.

Our neighbor, Kate, was kind enough to offer to babysit. It was a busy Saturday in Manly and, as we sorted out where to go, I started to feel like I had maybe been too optimistic about how well I had recovered. It was a great night, but in retrospect, I would have been better off home in bed early.

I learned a bit today and had a great family morning out at the beach and sushi train lunch but then spent the rest of the day very quietly around the house. I definitely don't have the energy I did so have to remember to stay within my limits to feel good and appreciate getting out.

Friday 10 January 2014

Day 123: Fuzzy

Some days are harder than others. I had a fuzzy head and fuzzy mouth most of the day, as well as continued sore intestines. I didn't get a nap because I was too busy trying to be part of the world by having a little walk, do some grocery shopping, visit with Karen and hang out with Sandy. When I finally went for a nap the concrete drilling in the apartment building next door started up. Poor me.

At least I have a valid physical reason for having a tough day. Remie was all over the board today: excited about Alex and Nick coming home, grumpy then happy about spending the day with Netty and finally horrid to everyone. It took almost an hour of grumbling and crying at bedtime for her to say that she was really sad but she didn't know why; she just felt like I wasn't close enough. We had big cuddles and I rubbed her back as she finally relaxed to sleep. Poor Remie.

I don't want to drag her, or anyone else, on this journey, but I guess that's what happens in a family and with good friends. All we can do is try to be there for each other and try to act out of love. Thanks to all of you who are showing me that way.

Thursday 9 January 2014

Day 122: Let the fun begin

It was a day of surprises, both good and bad. A day when all the best laid plans go to hell in a hand basket. And a day in which the good outshines the bad.

 I woke feeling none too great, with my intestines in knots and my head a bit muddled. After iced cranberry tea, avocado toast and my anti-nausea duo brought to me in bed by Sandy and Remie, I was no more ready to rally. We made it downstairs where Remie played while Sandy and I tried to get sorted in the kitchen for brekkie.

While emptying the dishwasher, Sandy realised she was encountering one of her dizziness and nausea spells which meant back to bed for her and no aquarium outing for her and Remie. As I, too, needed to go back to bed, I called on Rosalie to do the Manlt Sea Life Sanctuary and sushi excursion. She thankfully put her plans on hold and headed off with a happy Remie.

I slept for 2 hours and awoke to a text from Rosalie asking if they could come home early. When I got downstairs, Remie was doing some art and Sandy was hanging out with her. Remie spent the next few hours playing by herself and doing a few shows for Sandy and me, and Sue who dropped by with some beautiful fresh juices. Steph popped by with the boys and all 3 kids happily played Octonauts while we chatted.

Chris and M picked up Remie to go to a movie night at theirs, so Sandy and I did what 2 sensible, ill adults should do: watched tele (2 episodes of "House of Cards" via Apple TV) in the daytime. I haven't done that in as long as I can remember!  After Deanna's chicken noodle soup, tucking Remie in and another episode, it's bedtime. I'm hoping tomorrow is as action-packed (perhaps even with a trip out of the house) so I can get distracted from my sore guts, furry mouth, thick head and general malaise.

Wednesday 8 January 2014

Day 121: Remarkably well

Given my toxic cocktail infusion yesterday, I felt unbelievably good today. No, I didn't venture further than my neighbor's door and I did have a 2 hour nap, but I managed all 3 meals, some admin that required thought and even some thoughtful conversation. My day started with Remie remembering that I needed some toast first up with my anti-nausea meds. Bless her. I took both the Dex plus a Pramin, and they did the trick for the day. I didn't have any nausea but do have a sore gut. Lucky for me the chemo is non-denominational and targets the mucus lining in my gut, stomach and mouth (which is ok so far) as well as any rogue cancer cells. Mel dropped off some specific intestinal herbs to try to soothe my gut. Sandy and Remie headed out about 9a, so I went back to bed and slept until 11.30a. I woke up feeling more in the world so I got some lunch, drank lots of water and talked to my mum Sandy and Remie got home and showed me the art they did. When Steph brought over her special healing green smoothie (part of the trick to my recovery, I bet), Remie went over to play withe her boys and their friends so Sandy and I had a bit of time. The rest of the afternoon was calm and peaceful, as was dinner and a bit of tele. Remie seems to be thoroughly enjoying being a single child this week. I did hear from Nick who said Cuboree was going well but Alex was a bit teary last night. He opted to skip the movie and get to bed early at 9.30p (!), so the poor monkey is just tired. Speaking of which, I am tired too. After the 3rd episode of "House of Cards" (the US version, Alan), it's past my bedtime. I'd better rest up as The aftermath seems to hit worst on the Thursday after treatment.

Tuesday 7 January 2014

Day 120: Round 3. The halfway mark.

Thankfully I awoke feeling well rested after dropping Remie at the house of our good friend, former carer and guardian angel Jenna, Sandy and I did the run to chemo cottage in Errol. The sky was grey and intermittently drippy, but we still went topless. My appointment with Dr. Fran was enlightening and entertaining as usual. She first gave me the preparation run down on my next 3 cycles, which will see me going from a cocktail of 3 drugs to just one (Docetaxel)- the one that s mixed in medical detergent. This one seems to hit hard, so there's some pre-session anti-nausea required. Oh joy. She wrote me a referral to an ophthalmologist to possibly get some steroidal eye drops. Apparently my tear ducts are not functioning properly so need some serious help to get moving again, thus preventing the eye fluid from leaking out willy-nilly. I asked her about my radiation schedule over the Easter long weekend as my my is coming out and it would be nice to get away. Dr. Fran said that not only do cancer cells not grow on weekends, they are also Christian so observe the holiday weekend. She asked how I was doing otherwise and I said I was tired, likely due to me trying to do too much. I said that I just need to chill. In her typical deadpan manner, she asked if I wanted her to writeme a prescription for that. Sandy and I had a good chuckle. Then it was across to the cottage where the lovely Lorraine checked me in. Candy sorted out my cold cap and nurse Angela brilliantly bad relatively painlessly did the cannula business. After a bit f reading, Sandy and I watched the first episode of "House of Cards" what a great way to take my mind of what was happening! Gail popped in to say hello, we started another episode and it was time to go a bit before 2p. We stopped for a bite on the way home at a local shopping centre. I managed to order some prescription sunnies and new glasses as I suspect contacts may be a struggle. We got home and I had a quick rest on the couch. We had a cup f tea with Jenna when she dropped Remie off. I loved having Jenna and Sandt interact as I love the way they both think and it was great to see them enjoying each other. And Remie was breathtaking had some amazing attention and no one to compete with at home. Sandy made a simple dinner of beans, carrots, brown rice and chicken. Perfect. We watched another episode of House of Cards" and it's bedtime. I feel ok so far. Amen

Monday 6 January 2014

Day 119: The calm before the storm

After a very unrest full night with both kids up (Remie for an hour and a half!) we all had a low-key morning and a nice brekkie together. Nick took Sandy for a quick driving lesson theme the boys left for Cuboree. It's the first time that Alex will be away from home for more than a night at a friend's. I'm excited for him to have this experience and worries as any mother world be. I'm glad that Nick is there with him even though Alex is very sensible. Sandy, Remie and I has some time running errands (including getting my pre-chemo blood test which went fine this time) followed by a lovely pre-chemo champagne lunch at Little Manly. The kids ran around the beach and we sat eating, drinking and talking (except poor Steph, whose boys were not in the running around mood). I really enjoyed the whole experience. The afternoon was quiet and saw me taking a little rest on the couch, which was heaven. Remie was in bed early so Sandy ad I had a nice chat over dinner. We got organised for tomorrow's 3rd round (I pack socks, a warm top, socks, my little cooler bag for my shot, food and something to do) it's bed time. I'm hoping for a good sleep and a constitution of steel tomorrow.

Sunday 5 January 2014

Day 118: Sandy's here!

Remie and I left for the airport at 6.30a to pick up Sandy. We were so excited (Remie said it was the best part of her day). It's wonderful to see her again and so nice that she just fits in to the craziness of life at the moment. We had a fairly quiet morning at home while the boys shopped for last-minute camping things. We all ventured down to the beach in the mid-afternoon to play in the waves, which was great fun. After dinner at The Fish Shack we walked home, showered and all collapsed exhausted. It'll be lights out for me by 8.45p, kicking off me week of going to bed while it's still light. I just hope I'm rested and hydrated enough for tomorrow's blood test.

Saturday 4 January 2014

Day 117: Cramming it in

I confess I am tired. I've been ready for sleep by 7.30p the past few nights. Now, we know that I am no longer a party animal, but that is pathetic even for me. Why am I so shattered, especially when I'm in a "good week"? The answer is simple: I've been trying to packthe majority of my summer into the past 2 weeks. I have not stopped, going from swim club in the morning to a walk and lunch with a friend to a quick afternoon surf play at the beach. I know it's not very clever as I want to feel good and rested for my 3rd chemo cycle next Tuesday, but I can't help myself. When the sun shines I feel I need to make hay ( or whatever that expression is). I figure I'll have a week of forced rest next week so I want to get out while I can. I've also been struggling with terrible allergies and sore, watery eyes the past 3 days. My eyes were sore enough that I had to get out of the surf today because the salt water stung so much. I have no idea what part the chemo is is playing in it; I'll try to remember to mention it to Dr. Fran on Tuesday. I am hoping to slow down a little the next few days with Sandy's arrival tomorrow and my boys' departure to Cuboree (4 nights of 3,600 Cubs ages 8-11 camping and 1,400 leaders and parents supervising!). With 2 family members gone and one divine friend arriving I'm sure things will change.