Wednesday 2 October 2013

Day 19 (Sunday 29 September): "Is it cancer? Are you going to die?"

We went down to the beach a bit past 8a and met our friends who are here on holidays as well. Nick took Alex and his friend out sailing on a the little catamaran while Remie and I waited for all the girls to come down for a swim.

She was playing in the sand, so I went and sat next to her. I started by telling her what I'd told Alex: I've been a bit unlucky as, from the tests that were done on my booby, the doctors found a lump in it that shouldn't be there.  "Are you going to have an operation?" She asked. I told her that I am and explained that I was going into hospital (the same one i went to for my hip replacement) the week he goes back to school so the doctors can take it out. "Is it cancer?" she asked. I told her it is. "Are you going to die?" was her next poignant question (a preschool friend lost his father to brain cancer just over a year ago). I told her that i would, but i'm not planning on it until I'm about 100. I also mentioned that there are different types of cancer and this one is the most common so the doctors know a lot about it and how to treat it. I told her that they are going to take the whole breast off to try to make sure they get it all. "Will you have a scar?" She asked. I told her that I will. "Will it fade?".  We checked out the one on my hip and she was satisfied that it will fade over time.


We are going to have to keep a close eye on her as this journey progresses. I have a sense that she's going to swing wildly from being fine to being terrified. I am so very sad that she, too, has to be part of this. Perhaps helping support her will help me get through it as well. Only time will tell. 

1 comment:

  1. I think you are incredible (this one - like most of the others) totally brought me to tears. Finding it hard to digest this, but you are one strong kick ass lady and you'll battle this like the tower of strength that you are. and on the days that you just can't - then there is wine. x

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