I've been swearing I was going to end it. I've tried on and off to cut contact. It's worked for short periods of time, when other things have held my interest or when I've been able to be strong, but it never lasts. I promised myself today was my last big fling and tomorrow I will make a fresh start.
But the champagne at lunch was too enjoyable and thankfully I know that the end of my 75 day affair with alcohol is only temporary. I will endeavour to reduce my consumption (now that all the good bottles are gone from our cellar) as it is advisable as part of my treatment and after.
My "pre-chemo lunch" at Manly Wine was the perfect way to prevent me from worrying about something I can't control and will happen regardless. My fabulous friends who joined me were upbeat, entertaining and so very thoughtful. Thanks to Steph for taking care of the money, Emma for taking one one picture of the day, Jo for the divine hats, Ing for the nail polish, Kay for the book and handbag-sized selection of vodkas, Kim for the trilby, Mel for driving all my stuff home and everyone else for the company. I hope to be able to do another one in 3 weeks.
I am feeling relatively at peace with the next phase of my journey to wellness. Talking with the Breastcare nurse before lunch put my mind at ease. Apparently I will be given all sorts of info and meds tomorrow which will address my concerns. And it will all be in writing. Whew.
I did ask about my 75 day lead up to starting chemo. Claire told me that all sorts of things can extend the schedule (availability of surgeon/oncologist, need for additional tests, family needs). That explains it. She said that they aim to start treatment within 3 months of diagnosis. As I've been told before: cancer is not (normally) a medical emergency but a treatable disease. Given that, I say bring on the toxic cocktail bearing the guys in white to fight those evil cancer cells!