Today was a normal Saturday for most people filled with things like kids' sport, birthday parties, grown ups' outings, errands, seeing friends, sharing a bottle of wine, family dinners, etc. Not for me. I wandered the hospital feeling incarcerated with drainage tubes hanging out of my side. And this is just the beginning of the journey. It's not as though I am making a choice to step back for awhile to achieve a university degree or win a race medal or give birth to a new life. Instead I have no choice but to fight for my life. It's not fair.
I'm told I'll be too focused on and tired from the fight to miss being part of the normal things. I hear the things that will save my life will make living it insufferable for some periods of time. I will be living in my own bubble. It's not fair.
Thanks to all who reached out today. The visits brought me out of the isolation. The pictures sent kept me connected to the world. The messages kept my spirits up. The flowers made me smile.
I know tomorrow is another day. I know everything looks better in the morning. I am positive that this, too, shall pass. It's still not fair.
Nancie, we are pulling for you in Portland.
ReplyDeleteSending love, Carol & Ian