In two days (that is 48 hours) I will be a cancer
patient. I will be in hospital having just
had my left breast removed. I packed my
hospital bag this morning and got sad looking in my cupboard. How will my clothes look? What bra will I wear? What will I wear to hide my disfigurement? How weird will my "prosthetic
breast" feel? Will people notice? This is the first surgical and cosmetic step. I can only hope that this is the biggest and hardest part of it.
I'm so not looking forward to the
nausea, constipation and general crappy feeling that accompany coming out of
surgery. I seriously added a bag of
prunes to my shopping list for tomorrow.
Did I not just go through this 18 months ago?! The memory is all too clear, which I suppose
is a good thing in that I can draw on the recovery experience and recall that
it felt like it took forever but really just took a few weeks.
I will go back to the
positives: awesome friends. I had a
lovely day with good friends eating, drinking, chatting and laughing. This is the stuff that matters. I also received a supportive email from a
former good friend who chose to cut contact about 7 years ago. I would've sworn that pigs would fly before I
ever heard from him again so I was very surprised but deeply touched. See, some good things do come out of bad
stuff.
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