When I woke up this morning I had a "leave pass" from Nick to go to the gym. For the first time yet, I honestly didn't have the energy or desire to go. So sad. Instead I read a book with Remie and appreciated being with her. It makes me think that this slowing down has its upside despite how much I dislike not being able to go-go-go. I am definitely more tired, though how much of that is a result of the past 5 weeks of school summer holidays is not clear. It's not worth worrying about as it will all change in more ways than one in a week,with the first round of the new drug on Tuesday and the kids back at school on Wednesday.
Most of my fingernails split and peeled in the past week. I suppose that's the build up of the drugs. It's not a big deal but interesting to note.
I had an appointment yesterday with an ophthalmologist for my runny eyes. It seems that even my tears are affected by the chemo and they are a bit "oily" (tears are fast growing cells). The plan is to try to stay away from contacts when my eyes bother me (I picked up new glasses and prescription sunnies yesterday) and/or use some prescription lubrication drops. If that doesn't work, I have some steroid drops to help open the tear ducts but absolutely can't wear contacts for 2 weeks when using them. I think I will very much miss the simplicity of healthy eyes.
Finally, I've hit the point where I feel more comfortable going out with a hat or scarf headband (or even my sunnies on my head) to cover up my "thinning patches". I even ordered a few "Alice bands", which is somewhat entertaining so I'm getting all the head overs in place as I go into the chemo game's second half and the possible hair loss that will bring.
I'll appreciate where I am with it all at the moment. It's funny how one's perspective can adjust over time.