If the message post-mastectomy/axillary clearance (lymph node removal) had been "you are highly likely to get lymphoedema and will be lucky if you don't", I think I would have been more able to cope. Had my " multi-disciplinary team" been more responsive to my first signs, I might have been less frustrated.
Unfortunately, that was not the case. I'm doing my best to deal with it and get help. Today I made an effort to set my expectations realistically. Sarah, my physio at Mt. Wilga, said that she's hoping for a 50% reduction in arm size by the end of my program. She's less concerned with my L-Dex, with her focus on softening the tissue and getting the fluid out. She used the laser again today and did massage before bandaging.
I also saw Jonathan, a psychology team member. He listened to my whinging and told me it's ok to be angry and sad; after all, I have ended up with this very annoying thing I never wanted. My m.o. of making clear plans and problem solving might just lead to further struggle from me.
I had a nice walk with Delia once I got home and before pick up. The weather was beautiful and it was good to be moving and not sitting in a car.
As I watched Remie reading in bed with her little reading light and fairy lights on, I thought about how unfair it is for her to have to deal with my cancer. She's been so brave; I hope that stays with her.
Nick made my sandwich for lunch for tomorrow as cutting is not easy. He's been great this week, doing mornings and being involved at school. While it's good for all, I know it's not easy for him to be doing my part of the divided "labour". Life sure does get flipped on its head with health issues.
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