Day 13 (Monday 22 September): There is a plan

I arrived at the hospital 10 mins early for my 6.30a MRI this morning.  Go figure.  The sunrise drive to the hospital was lovely.  I did not enjoy the MRI but I managed to get on top of my panic by channeling all the positive people and events in my life.  I tried to use it as a breathing exercise (see, I have learned something from yoga).

I was finished by 7.40a and not scheduled to meet with Rebecca and Dr. Andrew until 9.30a so I rang Deb, who lives close by, and invited myself over with coffees.  We had a nice brekkie and chat in the morning sun in her garden and she reminded me that whatever happens I just want "clear margins".  Right!

Then it was back to the hospital to meet Nick, head to Imaging to pick up my films and over to the surgeon's office.  In we went to Rebecca's make-shift office to learn the news: it's widespread DCIS (pre-cancer) and small invasive cancer (at least that's what they suspect). The first step will be a mastectomy (left only) on Wed 9th with an expander (beginning of reconstruction) at same time. I'll be in the hospital up to 7 days. Follow on treatment TBD after pathology from the removal.

Bless my gorgeous childhood friend who's pointed out the positives as follows:

*Up to 7 nights without having to put anyone else to bed 

*You get the tv to yourself, no Octonauts 

*You get a free pass to splurge on ANY pricey bras at Victoria's Secret 

*Someone else will cook for you for up to 7 nights and no dishes to do 

*You get to demand lots of attention (In fact, this is a MUST!) 

*You get to ask for favors from anyone, guilt-free (this is also  a MUST!!)  

So how do I feel?  I'm not really sure.  I'm relieved to hear the words "pre-cancer".  I'm relieved that there's a plan for the first step.  I'd rather not have more of my body removed, but that's where I am.  I'm hoping that the surgery is a big part of this battle as it'll mean that the bad stuff is mostly out.  If not, I'll cross that bridge then.  For now, I'm going to get Remie to her allergist appointment, finish packing for our holiday and then go and enjoy 8 days of family time while I feel good (and still look even-sided in a cossie - oh, it's going to be a long summer...).  The future remains to be seen...