That's how the information sheet that accompanies the Solugel describes the possible side effects of radiotherapy. It sounds horrible, but in actuality isn't quite so bad (I will spare you a picture). It is getting very sore under my arm (I've never had a sunburn in my arm pit) but I'm confident that it's manageable. Dr. Susan gave me a prescription for another burn medication that I'm to start using when treatment is over next week. She wasn't too worried so I figure I shouldn't be either.
I went to the gym today for the first time in ages. It was nothing very energetic but it felt good. I thought I need to start at some point and today seemed like as good as any, especially after I had a great sleep.
Treatment has been quick in the past 2 weeks. I was out in under 40 minutes today, which included seeing Dr. Susan. Not bad.
I had the energy for two catch ups afterwards. I hasn't seen Sue L.P. in months, so I stopped by her house on the way home. Then Ing and I had a coffee and identified that we are stuck and it's time to get moving on finding something to do aside from looking after our families. I think 2014 will be the year to get unstuck (in a good way...).
Nick is away for the next 2 nights at a work event locally, then to Korea on Monday for the week. I'm away for the weekend to farewell Sue, so we'll be like ships passing in the night. Now if only the kids can help in the mornings I'll be alright...
Wednesday, 30 April 2014
Tuesday, 29 April 2014
Day 232: Ready to drop
It's 8pm and I'll be turning the light out soon. I am completely exhausted after 3 nights in a row of being awake for 2+ hours after a hot flush. This menopause gig is not remotely restful.
My radiation burn is also getting worse. The whole treated area is now that angry red that happens after lots of time in the sun without sun block. I would be able to handle this but the lack of sleep is making everything challenging.
Thankfully I know that this, too, shall pass. I thought that today as Dr. Craig was patching my chipped front tooth (I think it happened during my last round of chemo but can't quite remember). At least now I have a very beautiful tooth.
I'm off to chase elusive sleep. I'm sure the world will be a rosier place after I get more than 3 hours in a row.
My radiation burn is also getting worse. The whole treated area is now that angry red that happens after lots of time in the sun without sun block. I would be able to handle this but the lack of sleep is making everything challenging.
Thankfully I know that this, too, shall pass. I thought that today as Dr. Craig was patching my chipped front tooth (I think it happened during my last round of chemo but can't quite remember). At least now I have a very beautiful tooth.
I'm off to chase elusive sleep. I'm sure the world will be a rosier place after I get more than 3 hours in a row.
Monday, 28 April 2014
Day 231: I am like a tree
Today I took off my dark blue nail polish for the first time in 16 weeks (wow, I hadn't realised it'd been that long until I just counted it). While I'm supposed to keep my nails covered due to the photo sensitivity of the docetaxel, I wanted to see how they looked and figure a few days uncovered can't hurt. Not only have most of them peeled, I found out that my thumb nails actually have rings marking my chemo treatments as I'd been told can happen.
Today I give thanks for a friend who helped make my day easier. Kirrily looked after Alex and Remie while I went to radio and organised her sitter to take the kids to The Lego Movie. My appreciation I'd huge.
Not much else otherwise. Getting up in the morning remains challenging as sleep interruptions (hot flushes and the inability to get back to sleep - not Remie) continue regularly. I'm fine otherwise and pleased to report that my sense of taste is mostly back and my eyes have mostly stopped watering (though they are still sensitive). In 3 more weeks I'll be feeling much better and cancer will be only one part of - not the focus of - my life.
Today I give thanks for a friend who helped make my day easier. Kirrily looked after Alex and Remie while I went to radio and organised her sitter to take the kids to The Lego Movie. My appreciation I'd huge.
Not much else otherwise. Getting up in the morning remains challenging as sleep interruptions (hot flushes and the inability to get back to sleep - not Remie) continue regularly. I'm fine otherwise and pleased to report that my sense of taste is mostly back and my eyes have mostly stopped watering (though they are still sensitive). In 3 more weeks I'll be feeling much better and cancer will be only one part of - not the focus of - my life.
Sunday, 27 April 2014
Day 230: Weekend of relaxing
I said goodbye to my mum and nicked away for the weekend with my family, so I took the weekend off writing.
On Friday morning we all packed: Mum for her return home and us for our weekend in Wombatra, just over an hour south and about 45 minutes past the airport. It was Anzac Day, so Alex wanted to March with Cubs in the parade to the memorial ceremony at 11a. Nick accompanied him and we girls went to watch. It was my first time attending a service in the 15 or so opportunities I've had. We dashed when the rain started.
We got mum checked in and organised some transfer help for her at SFO. Then we all had lunch before saying goodbye. I was sad to watch her walk to Customs, even though we'll see her in a few months. It all seemed a bit easier with her here and it was so great to have her company and support.
By mid-afternoon we arrived at the little beach cottage we rented. It sat on the cliff above Wombarra reef (and the "mermaid pool" we discovered a few years ago while on holiday with Sandy and Mig). We spent our time over the next few days between playing at the reef and nearby beach and hanging around the house reading, talking or playing games. It was just the slowing down that we all needed.
With only 10 more days until the end of the parts of treatment that focus on killing fast-growing cells that are dividing, I am feeling ok. I have a worsening "burn" on my chest, with the skin by by left collarbone actually peeling. The night "wrap" seems to help with the overall area; it's clear that I'll need to put some heavy duty cream on the peeling area in addition to the aloe and sorbolene. I'm told that my skin will get worse the week following my final treatment, so I figure I'm in skin-preservation mode for another few weeks.
On Friday morning we all packed: Mum for her return home and us for our weekend in Wombatra, just over an hour south and about 45 minutes past the airport. It was Anzac Day, so Alex wanted to March with Cubs in the parade to the memorial ceremony at 11a. Nick accompanied him and we girls went to watch. It was my first time attending a service in the 15 or so opportunities I've had. We dashed when the rain started.
We got mum checked in and organised some transfer help for her at SFO. Then we all had lunch before saying goodbye. I was sad to watch her walk to Customs, even though we'll see her in a few months. It all seemed a bit easier with her here and it was so great to have her company and support.
By mid-afternoon we arrived at the little beach cottage we rented. It sat on the cliff above Wombarra reef (and the "mermaid pool" we discovered a few years ago while on holiday with Sandy and Mig). We spent our time over the next few days between playing at the reef and nearby beach and hanging around the house reading, talking or playing games. It was just the slowing down that we all needed.
With only 10 more days until the end of the parts of treatment that focus on killing fast-growing cells that are dividing, I am feeling ok. I have a worsening "burn" on my chest, with the skin by by left collarbone actually peeling. The night "wrap" seems to help with the overall area; it's clear that I'll need to put some heavy duty cream on the peeling area in addition to the aloe and sorbolene. I'm told that my skin will get worse the week following my final treatment, so I figure I'm in skin-preservation mode for another few weeks.
Thursday, 24 April 2014
Day 227: It's not all about treatment
The Sydney Brick Show started today, and we had tickets. That's right, Lego fans, it was all about what people can make with those cool bits of plastic. Mum, Alex, Remie and I drove Errol to Sydney Town Hall and we spent an hour looking at all sorts of amazing creations. We even chatted with Ryan McNaught, the only Lego certified professional in the Southern Hemisphere (of only 13 in the world). The kids used the money they earned yesterday from cleaning my car to buy 2 new sets.
We left and winged it: we had a coffee in the beautiful and iconic QVB across the road, then we had our packed lunches as a picnic in Kirribilli park looking at the Opera House and finally we had ice blocks (it was nearly 30 degrees C) in a playground and hung out with Col at JackWattsCurrie, my ad agency from my Yahoo! days. We dashed to radiotherapy and were out in 20 minutes. Fantastic!
We had our last dinner with my mum tonight. I'm sad she's leaving as it's been so nice to have her here just having her company has been comforting to me and the kids. But I suppose that all good things come to an end (the corollary to "this, too, shall pass).
We left and winged it: we had a coffee in the beautiful and iconic QVB across the road, then we had our packed lunches as a picnic in Kirribilli park looking at the Opera House and finally we had ice blocks (it was nearly 30 degrees C) in a playground and hung out with Col at JackWattsCurrie, my ad agency from my Yahoo! days. We dashed to radiotherapy and were out in 20 minutes. Fantastic!
We had our last dinner with my mum tonight. I'm sad she's leaving as it's been so nice to have her here just having her company has been comforting to me and the kids. But I suppose that all good things come to an end (the corollary to "this, too, shall pass).
Wednesday, 23 April 2014
Day 226: A new look
I dragged myself out of bed at 7a because I remembered that Susan was coming to do yoga with the kids. I'd been up from 1-2.30a as a result of a hot flush, as seems to be the case a few nights per week at the moment.
After the kids' yoga, Alex and I went to have our eyes checked as he wanted new glasses with transition lenses and I wanted daily disposable contacts. His prescription got slightly worse (he's at +2.25R/+1.25L) and mine was the same. I had to try on the contacts and could definitely feel how dry my eyes are. While I'm happy to have the option of contacts, I'm happy to continue wearing glasses- as they are definitely more comfortable.
From there we zipped to hospital. Dr. Susan was at the radiation rooms, so I met with her upon arriving. She was pleased with the elasticity of my skin and not too bothered about the "minor" burn. She asked me how I was sleeping and, when I told her, consoled me by explaining that's the usual pattern and assuring me that it will settle down. In the meantime, she gave me a script for Tamazepam, a light sleeping pill that should help me get back to sleep in the middle of the night but wake up ok in the morning.
I then dropped Alex at home with Mum and Remie while I went to see Heather, my miracle-worker hairdresser. I walked in with hair like this:
Emma Watson's short hair inspired her, so she cut and coloured and made me look as glamourous as possible at this point in time:
I'm not sure I look much like Emma Watson, but I do feel that this was a great way to mark my 6 week anniversary of my final chemo session.
I got home, tidied up and prepped afternoon tea. Mum spent the day making a batch of French-Canadian meat pies at Remie's request. Sue, H and J came by for a catch up, which was great. I can't believe they'll be gone in 2 weeks :-(
When they headed out, we went to Manlt for dinner with Simon and Bel, Z and A and Simeon's parents. It was wonderful to catch up after way too long.
I jumped into bed a bit past 8p. Fingers crossed I can sleep more than 3 hours in a row.
After the kids' yoga, Alex and I went to have our eyes checked as he wanted new glasses with transition lenses and I wanted daily disposable contacts. His prescription got slightly worse (he's at +2.25R/+1.25L) and mine was the same. I had to try on the contacts and could definitely feel how dry my eyes are. While I'm happy to have the option of contacts, I'm happy to continue wearing glasses- as they are definitely more comfortable.
From there we zipped to hospital. Dr. Susan was at the radiation rooms, so I met with her upon arriving. She was pleased with the elasticity of my skin and not too bothered about the "minor" burn. She asked me how I was sleeping and, when I told her, consoled me by explaining that's the usual pattern and assuring me that it will settle down. In the meantime, she gave me a script for Tamazepam, a light sleeping pill that should help me get back to sleep in the middle of the night but wake up ok in the morning.
I then dropped Alex at home with Mum and Remie while I went to see Heather, my miracle-worker hairdresser. I walked in with hair like this:
I'm not sure I look much like Emma Watson, but I do feel that this was a great way to mark my 6 week anniversary of my final chemo session.
I got home, tidied up and prepped afternoon tea. Mum spent the day making a batch of French-Canadian meat pies at Remie's request. Sue, H and J came by for a catch up, which was great. I can't believe they'll be gone in 2 weeks :-(
When they headed out, we went to Manlt for dinner with Simon and Bel, Z and A and Simeon's parents. It was wonderful to catch up after way too long.
I jumped into bed a bit past 8p. Fingers crossed I can sleep more than 3 hours in a row.
Tuesday, 22 April 2014
Day 225: Back at it
No sooner had I walked into radiation oncology for my 1.30p appointment than my name was called; I hadn't even swiped my "check in" card. It was really quiet, which made sense after I overheard one of the radiotherapists mentioning at Apollo, the other machine, was down. I was out of the machine in 15 minutes, but was then told I needed to hang around for a mid-term scan. About half way through the course of treatment a scan is done to make sure nothing had changed regarding internal dimensions (e.g. Weight loss or gain) as radiotherapy is so very precise (I want them to know exactly where my heart and lungs are so the beams stay clear of them). All was fine and I was headed home in 45 minutes.
Other than that,an aborted eye exam for Alex and me which turned into grocery shipping, and a trip to the local park for my mum and the kids, we hung around the house. There was washing to do and I was too tied to do much after being awake with Remie for about an hour and a half in the night. The kids did perform a little circus for mum and me which was very entertaining.
I did talk to one of the Breastcare nurses who told me to:
- keep my nails covered for 3 months,
- expect that my eyelashes will take quite awhile to grow back,
- spray a mix of salt and water on my "burned" areas to take away the sting, and
- look to the 3 month post-chemo mark as a time when most side effects will diminish (eyes and eyelashes take the longest)
I am definitely hanging in day-by-day at the moment. I am too tired to do most of what I'd like to, which is frustrating. I am looking forward to feeling better in 2-3weeks, but I am also cognisant that life is short so I am trying to appreciate every day.
Other than that,an aborted eye exam for Alex and me which turned into grocery shipping, and a trip to the local park for my mum and the kids, we hung around the house. There was washing to do and I was too tied to do much after being awake with Remie for about an hour and a half in the night. The kids did perform a little circus for mum and me which was very entertaining.
I did talk to one of the Breastcare nurses who told me to:
- keep my nails covered for 3 months,
- expect that my eyelashes will take quite awhile to grow back,
- spray a mix of salt and water on my "burned" areas to take away the sting, and
- look to the 3 month post-chemo mark as a time when most side effects will diminish (eyes and eyelashes take the longest)
I am definitely hanging in day-by-day at the moment. I am too tired to do most of what I'd like to, which is frustrating. I am looking forward to feeling better in 2-3weeks, but I am also cognisant that life is short so I am trying to appreciate every day.
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